The Hidden Reason Resolutions Fail

Jan 12, 2025

Be honest: Are you already wavering on those New Year’s intentions you felt so committed to just a week ago? Maybe the workouts, meal plans, daily social media posts or sales calls, or other ambitious goals or new habits are starting to feel less exciting and more overwhelming. If so, you’re in good company.

Every January, we set out with big dreams and fresh plans. We vow to exercise more, eat healthier, spend wisely, follow a marketing plan, or finally tackle that project we’ve been putting off. But somehow, by mid-February, gym shoes gather dust, healthy meals get replaced by quick fixes, and our excitement fizzles out.

What’s going on here?

Turns out, the real culprit is something happening in our own heads—those sneaky saboteurs lurking in the background.

The Saboteurs That Hold Us Back

The Positive Intelligence (PQ) framework explains that we all have inner saboteurs—negative mental habits that sabotage our best intentions. According to PQ, there are 10 different saboteurs, each with its own sneaky way of messing with our performance, relationships, and well-being.

They’re like covert operatives, working quietly in the background while we think we’re in control.
Here’s the thing: these saboteurs are tricky. They often fly under the radar, feeding us doubts, distractions, or excuses without us even noticing. Let’s meet a few of the usual suspects:

1. The Judge: The Judge is the ringleader, always ready to criticize. It tells you you’re not doing enough, you’re not good enough, and maybe you should just give up already. It likes to play comparison games, and it’s very convincing.

2. The Stickler: This one demands perfection. Miss one workout or have one cookie, and the Stickler whispers, “Well, you’ve blown it. Might as well quit.”

2. The Avoider: The Avoider loves to steer you toward easier, more fun, mindless, or mundane tasks. Instead of prepping for your big presentation, suddenly reorganizing your sock drawer feels like a top priority.

4. The Restless: The Restless has you bouncing around, shifting priorities, and chasing bright, shiny objects. It keeps you busy but not necessarily productive, pulling your focus away from what truly matters.

Why Willpower Isn’t Enough

We often rely on sheer willpower to stay on track. But willpower is like your phone battery—it drains fast, especially when those saboteurs are zapping it with their sneaky tactics.

That’s why you might find yourself procrastinating on a big project, missing an important meeting, skipping the gym “just this once” or diving into a bag of chips instead of sticking to your meal plan.

It’s not about laziness or lack of discipline; it’s about the mental tug-of-war happening behind the scenes, where you’re constantly balancing immediate comfort with long-term goals.

The good news? You can outsmart these saboteurs by tapping into your Sage mindset.

Sage is your inner ally—the wise, calm, and creative part of you that knows how to handle challenges without beating yourself up.

Here’s how you can make the shift:

1. Spot the Saboteurs: The first step is awareness. Notice when you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or tempted to quit. Ask yourself, “Which saboteur might be at play here?” Just calling them out can loosen their grip.

2. Try PQ Reps: Positive Intelligence includes quick mindfulness exercises called PQ reps. These can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, focusing on a sound, or noticing the feel of your feet on the ground. PQ reps help quiet the saboteurs and give your Sage a chance to step in.

3. Reframe Setbacks: When things don’t go perfectly (and they won’t), use your Sage to reframe the situation. Instead of letting the Stickler or Judge take over, ask: “What can I learn from this? What’s one small step I can take next?” or “What’s most important in the long run”?

Building Habits That Stick

Real, lasting change happens when we stop fighting ourselves and start working with ourselves.

When you learn to quiet your saboteurs and lean into your Sage, you create a foundation for habits that actually stick.

So this year, try a new approach. Instead of white-knuckling your way through January, take a moment to pause and tune in. Notice those inner voices that might be pulling you off track. Then, shift into curiosity, compassion, and calm.

Your goals and intentions are still within reach—not just for the next few weeks, but all year long, and beyond!

Ready to Make This Year Different?